lately i've been too hard to reach, too far off all alone

I've established alot of things around my life. I've changed alot of what I want to do my life and how exactly I want to live it. There's definitely alot of things I don't want in my life anymore and I won't have any problems completely cutting them out of my life. I don't need that shit and really it's a waste even to breathe it. 

As much as I wanted to become a Social Worker just like Shellybear, I don't think I can deal with kids like that, it's sad. Troubled Youth, there's something I can most likely deal with. i have enough edge on me that I could be intimidating but have enough finesse with my words that they're not afraid to tell me what's up. It's a win-win situation really. I get something from helping them, they get saved from a life they didn't want to live. I don't know this is just what I was thinking about the past couple days, which have been fucking wonderful. 

--sg

am i loud and clear or am i breaking up?

I waited till now, I suppose because I didn't want to ruin what I had yesterday. It was strange I woke up feeling the same way I always did but for some reason through all the bullshit that I was getting from people for situations I can honestly say I don't know where I would put me into that mix, other than an older relationship I held. But it was crazy, I looked right through it and just said "Fuck it" I've been slowly getting to this point over the past few months. It's been a chore indeed. I was constantly holding my self back in several situations I thought I would react terribly and everything would end on a seriously bad note. 

Yesterday was a great day in many senses, nothing major or exciting happened. I got to do what I wanted to do and just let everything else go. This definitely feels great. But there's one catch, I'm still feeling like I was little less that a year ago. I'm stuck in the same position without reassurance like before. I'm stuck. This frustrates me, but I'm looking at it differently than before. I've moved on in some aspects but this is still irking me to no end. But we'll see how it pans out.

I'm working with Sarah on the farm next week so I definitely think that, that is going to be a wicked good time. Also, hoping for a trip to Hali this weekend if my niece/nephew isn't born by then. Super excited to see some friendly faces there. Everything will be good after that I think. 

P.S I have the most ridiculous cuts from jonny's damn long board, fucking jerk didn't even help me up, just laughed. I did dice er pretty hard though. Thank god for rugby teaching me how to fall or I would've been making a serious trip to the outdoor. It was pretty hilarious though, I just wish I could have seen it from not my angle. 

till then.

--sg